What's your name tag say?

For years I wore a name tag that said “Hello, I am Fibromyaglia & Sarcoidosis.” Like so many living with Fibro and Sarcoid, I fought for years for the Doctors to tell me what was wrong with me. The more I heard “There is nothing wrong with you, the tests don't show anything, you're fine, you look fine... bla bla bla” I began to believe I was crazy. I felt very alone. Was it all in my head? I wanted so badly for the Dr's to give it a name, then at least I would know how to deal with it. Years later a Doctor finally did. Guess what, I still didn't know how to deal with it or pronounce it.

So I packed my bags, put on my name tag, and headed into my cave called fear. I liked it there. It was dark and I didn't have to fight any more. I finally had a name tag with a title and I clung to it for dear life. Hell, I fought a long time to get it, I wasn't going to give it up that easily. It was more a “See, I told you something was wrong with me and I wasn't faking it!” Picture it...a grown 40 something year old woman...sticking out her tongue “I told ya so, I told you so!” Not pretty, right ? It was really kinda sad. I sat in my illnesses, I sat there allowing the pity and the poor Mare's to comfort me.

I hid behind my illness out of fear. I said “I'd do anything to feel better”. But each time someone tried to help...I stayed stuck in my fear. I remember sitting in my cave and thinking this was it. I lost all hope of a normal life. With anger boiling over, I yelled at my higher power “Really, This is it?” Then the day came when the fear became bigger than the illness and I'd had enough. Out from the cave I came “This is NOT what I was put on this earth for...there HAS to be something to learn, some kind of positive to come from this”. I changed my mindset and opened my heart. The first of many steps I took to reclaim my life!

Today, I am fearless and living my truth. Today, I'm helping others living with limitations, see their truth. I help them to embrace their power and gain control of their health and their life. I had to go through the loss and the struggles to appreciate this gift. I had to get past the fear to see just how amazing life truly is. Life is about connecting with your authentic self, standing in your brilliance, knowing YOU have the power to create the life you want, and above all else, being of service and sharing your gift. Want more for others, than yourself. You can't give away what you don't have.

Today I'm still wearing a name tag...but this time I replaced Fibro with FEARLESS, Sarcoid with SERENITY, Limited with LIMITLESS, and Handicapped with CAPABLE! Today I am a woman who stands in her brilliance. I am a woman inspired. I am a woman empowered. I am a woman who remains teachable. I am a woman of service. I am a woman FULL of gratitude. I am a woman who says “YES”. I wear my new name tags proudly as I go confidently in the direction of my dreams!

With love,

Mare

That 15% ....

The voices in my head these days are 85% more positive than before. But man oh man, that other 15% is a loud screaming negative voice. I call her Nellie. Her full name is Negative Nellie. She isn't very supportive and lacks real people skills. She loves to dwell and bring up past mistakes. She's really good at crawling into the hard to reach places and setting up camp, if I let her. Just for kicks, she likes to turn on the old “self doubt” switch just see how far she can crawl under my skin.

When Nellie comes to visit she's a real bitch, kinda like Aunt Flo. I swear sometimes they tag team me. I've found that plugging into my favorite authors and motivational speakers really helps me take better control of the situation. Now, I hate to be rude, but life is too sweet to allow these voices in, even for a moment. I'm very grateful for my large Isa-Family for reminding me “there are no mistakes, just lessons”.

I admit I got a little cocky when I reached the 50 lbs mark. I celebrated a little too much and lost focus. I also said yes to Nellie & Flo too many times. I started to make bad choices. In came the shame and guilt followed by self loathing. I allowed the negative in and heard Nellie & Flo scream “you failed, you're not worthy, you can't do this, 50 lbs ?? you should be down 100 lbs by now”. This time I yelled back “ENOUGH , I AM HUMAN AND I AM LEARNING NEW BEHAVOIRS AND NEW COPING SKILLS”. That seemed to shut them up. I just needed to acknowledge, forgive, and release.

This is NOT a diet...it's a way of life. I'm going to participate in life and I'm going to celebrate. I just need to make better choices when it comes to the “how” so I can reach the goals I set for myself. I'm very proud of how far I've come and no matter what, I feel amazing! The is the best health I've been in in years. I celebrate the fact that today I didn't dive into a vat of ice cream after receiving another call from a bill collector. I celebrate the fact that today I can drive by “Fast Food Hill” and not white knuckle it anymore. I celebrate my daily triumphs because after all, triumph is just try with a little umph in it! I'm releasing a life time of bad habits and insecurities, one step at a time.

Today I changed the way I looked at things...and yepper you guessed it...the things I looked at changed!

I am strong and I am loud! Nellie & Flo, I'm in control !

Love and Light,

Mare

Cane Transformed Into Back Scratcher!

If a healthy body is the guest room for the soul, a sick body is the prison. Chronic illness is like living in a personal prison. 8 years ago, I was diagnosed with two debilitating illnesses, which I saw as a life sentence with two horrific medical beasts that caused widespread pain. Stripped down and beaten, I
sat in solitary confinement disabled, bedridden, living in constant agony, and on most days, walked with a cane. These beasts took everything from me. Lifting my arms to wash my hair was a chore. Something as simple as a hug became devastatingly painful. Fearing the pain, I held my breath as someone came towards me with open arms. Soon I withdrew from family functions. My six medical specialists and pharmacists became my only friends. Isolated in my prison cell, I watched my life slip away. 

I was unable to work or take care of my family. I raised my daughters from my bed. I spent days and nights covered in heating pads and ice packs. The medications made it impossible for me to function. My cognitive issues became so bad, I was unable to carry on conversations. Treatments compromised my immune system, keeping me from caring for my family. It was like being behind a prison wall, unable to reach them when they needed me most. 

My beautiful guest room and the life I was meant to live was just beyond my reach. I wasn't ready to back down. The moment we give up and allow illnesses to define us, it's over. I've been planning my prison break for years, but I never had the right tools. Then came Isagenix, the blue print I needed, and I was finally able to break free. 

Refocused, I began working on my new guest room. Demolition started October 10th, 2010 and I began repairing the foundation by taking charge of my body, my mind, and my spirit. During the first few days I released harmful toxins , and unwanted impurities. I gained perspective, self confidence, clarity, and endless amounts of energy. I became empowered and inspired. 

Through cleansing and good nutrition, in less than a month, I was able to walk without my cane. I felt the inflammation leaving my body, the nodules were shrinking, my digestive system was normal again, my pain level decreased, I was functioning clean and clear, and I no longer ran from hugs.

It's been an amazing journey. I'm working full time for the first time in 4 yrs. February 20th, 2011, I was finally well enough to marry the love of my life, after 10 long years. My guest room make- over is coming along. I've lost 50 lbs/49.75 inches so far. Thanks to my wellness system I'll never go back to prison life. My daughters have their Mom back and Phil has the girl he fell in love with again. Now I only use my cane as a back scratcher! Believing is seeing, I've battled my beasts and won...so can you !!  Just ask me how :)


Blessings, 
Mare

Denial Of Denial....

“This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify with in themselves, but is a major barrier to changing hurtful behaviors. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions and behaviors which bolster confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one's personal behavior. This form of denial typically overlaps with all of the other forms of denial, but involves more self-delusion.” ~ wikipedia

I've taken an honest look at my PAST relationship with food and my self-delusion. I had a food addiction. I stopped using food to fuel my body, the way it was intended, and used it to cover painful wounds. I remember the moment I was told my Mom died, I reached for a frozen chocolate cream pie...scarfed it down in seconds..didn't even wait for it to thaw. The insanity is, I allowed this behavior to continue throughout my adult life as well.

I waitressed in my 20's. At the end of my shift, I would scarf down the daily specials before heading home. My routine was to bring a burger home for my husband and a salad for me..this way in his eyes I was being good. INSANE right ? At birthday parties, when they'd pass out pieces of cake, I'd ask for the smallest piece. Sound familiar ? Sure, to everyone else Mare was being so good with just a tiny sliver of cake. , Little did they know I mapped out my route home...directly to Mc Donalds. Insanity! When I took an office job, I volunteered to bring in donuts every Friday. Now was I being generous? Hell no! It was all about the free donut holes, and how many I could shove down my throat before getting to the office.

Today, because of my Isa-Way of life, I have a healthy relationship with real food. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, once I got out of my way. I am able to truly appreciate the gift of wellness, for the first time EVER ! I'm honest now about what and how I eat. I do not go without, I do not starve, I do not DIET! I fuel my body, mind, and soul. I know, with this program, all things are possible. I'm an Isa-Lifer !!

Peace and blessing,

Mare

Clean Your Plate !

 

Sitting at the dinner table my well meaning Father said “You have such a pretty face, if only you'd lose the weight”. This was something I heard daily from the time I was 13 years old, until I moved out on my own at 16.   At the same time “Clean your plate” was a common phrase used at our dinner table.  I bet you heard it too.  Man, those poor starving kids in _______ (fill in the blanks). These were confusing messages.  Clean my plate, but lose weight...how the hell was that ever going to happen??  My Mom and Step Mom always stayed thin, while my Dad and I struggled with weight.  They thought if they fed me like a bird and controlled what I ate, I'd melt away right in front of their eyes.   WRONG !! That just taught me to hide food in my room and binge.  Later in life, a man I was with said “Are you sure you wanna eat that?” With a smile on my face I calmly turned to him and said “ Uh...you sure you want to say that to me, while I'm holding this knife in my hand?”  Silly fool....needless to say we parted ways.

We celebrate with food, we're bribed with food, and we develop a love/hate relationship with food, all before we reach puberty.  I've tried hiding behind “fat & happy”.   I've tried to hide behind “I'm curvy”.  Hell, in my 40's I was still using “this is baby fat”.   Come one, really Marianne ??!!  My weight gain was all me, I did that, there was no one else to blame.  Sure, I had good reasons to run to food, or at least I thought they were good.  But I have even better reasons now to just walk away.  No more running to or from food for me. It's all about living!! For the first time in my life, I'm in control.   I celebrate the woman I am today, not with junk food, but with nutrition.  Some days are easier than others, but it's progress not perfection.

Recently, I've learned valuable lessons about this wellness program.   My brain, my body, and my life does not function without it.  I missed 6 days of nutrition, due to my order being lost in transit.  I was a walking glob of Jello.  I couldn't focus, I spoke inside out, I could hardly read, words were getting jumbled, I couldn't sleep, and I was having aches and pains again.   Boy was I cranky too!  The second my package arrived, I went into full wellness mode.   In about 2 days I started feeling like my well self again.

My intention is to be a living, breathing, authentic role model for my daughters.   I want to teach people about this product, and bring this amazing gift to light.  I want to bring my Fibromyaliga friends, my Sarcoid friends and my Isafamily together...and allow the sharing to begin.   Together we can heal.  Together we are stronger.  Wellness is something we were born with, it's time to get it back!  Claim your wellness, fight for it.  Know that you deserve to feel better and live a truly healthy life.   If I can do this, trust me, ANYONE CAN!!  Let go and let it in.  Believe!  It just takes one step...one foot in front of the other..YOU CAN DO IT!!

Love & blessings...

Mare

I'll Never Forget....

Dear Little Fat Girl Inside,

I honor you with love and light. I see who you really are, and I cherish you. Without you, I wouldn't be where I am today. Today, I am giving you permission to pack your things and move on. Our relationship has run it's course. We've been through a lot together. You came to me when I was 15 and Motherless. You stayed with me through the abuse, through the divorce, through countless heartaches and through illness. You were there for me when I felt hopeless alone, thank you. I know I can do this on my own now, no matter what life brings my way.

You'll be happy to know I'm no longer alone. I have this amazing support system in place, I am able to connected with like minded people of all ages, and together we are changing the way we look at our health. I am allowing wellness into my life...and it feels great. I'm empowered and stronger then ever. I know, I know, you're wondering about my LOVE of chocolate, right? Well I've got it covered. You see, with my new way of living, I get to eat chocolate everyday...awesome eh? You know how much pain I was in before, and how ill I used to be. That was then, and now is WOW! I am really living my purpose.

I don't want you to feel replaced, but released. I am letting you go Little Fat Girl, with love. I will never forget where I cam from.

With love and gratitude,

The New Mare

Change Is Beautiful

I'm a very proud Dyer Do'er. I admire Dr. Wayne Dyer, well that may be putting it lightly, I LOVE this man with ever single fiber of my being!!   He is a gift, an amazing paternal presence, and true blessing in my life. I am profoundly grateful to have him as my teacher.  He is a loving guide and without knowing it, he has held my hand through major transitions in my life. I owe him everything.

I've been listening to Dr Dyer's CD's on my way into work, it's a great cure for road rage. This morning I was listening to the final chapter in Excuses Begone, a MUST read.   He said “We don't attract what we desire, we attract what we are.” Now come on...how much easier can it get, really?! Ever notice when you're in a funk..the whole words in a funk. Or if you're rushing around in a panic...nothing seems to go right. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”, another Dyer quote I live by.

He's taught me about raising my vibration to a higher place of love and light, and connecting to my higher power. The past few days I've allowed myself to slip back into old thinking habits. My husband was laid off from his job of 6 years, and we lost a very large chunk of income. Panic set in for a moment, and I suddenly wanted to dive into a huge bowl of Ben & Jerry's and a Keylime pie. 

The shock wore off, and I was able to turn on my inner Dyer. I reminded myself “with God all things are possible”. You don't have to believe in God to believe in your highest self. Call it what ever you want. When I get centered, and affirm that we have everything we need right in front of us, and we only need to do the foot work, the panic disappears. So does the need to self medicate with food.

It's no accident that Dr. Dyer came into my life around the same time as my wellness coach Mindy. She too is a Dyer Do'er. She is on a wellness mission, and I am proud to be part of it. Together we are sharing this wellness system and hope with others living with limitations. When I am able to share my story and show others the transformation happening in my life...my love & light vibration level soars through the roof. It reaffirms my purpose in life. This product, my coach, and my teacher Dr. Dyer are all part of the universes master plan. I am excited to see how the rest of the plan unfolds...stay tuned. Life is beautiful!

Blessings, love and light,

Mare

“There is a voice in the Universe urging us to remember our purpose for being on this great Earth. This is the voice of inspiration, which is within each and every one of us”. Dr. Wayne Dyer