For years I wore a name tag that said “Hello, I am Fibromyaglia & Sarcoidosis.” Like so many living with Fibro and Sarcoid, I fought for years for the Doctors to tell me what was wrong with me. The more I heard “There is nothing wrong with you, the tests don't show anything, you're fine, you look fine... bla bla bla” I began to believe I was crazy. I felt very alone. Was it all in my head? I wanted so badly for the Dr's to give it a name, then at least I would know how to deal with it. Years later a Doctor finally did. Guess what, I still didn't know how to deal with it or pronounce it.
So I packed my bags, put on my name tag, and headed into my cave called fear. I liked it there. It was dark and I didn't have to fight any more. I finally had a name tag with a title and I clung to it for dear life. Hell, I fought a long time to get it, I wasn't going to give it up that easily. It was more a “See, I told you something was wrong with me and I wasn't faking it!” Picture it...a grown 40 something year old woman...sticking out her tongue “I told ya so, I told you so!” Not pretty, right ? It was really kinda sad. I sat in my illnesses, I sat there allowing the pity and the poor Mare's to comfort me.
I hid behind my illness out of fear. I said “I'd do anything to feel better”. But each time someone tried to help...I stayed stuck in my fear. I remember sitting in my cave and thinking this was it. I lost all hope of a normal life. With anger boiling over, I yelled at my higher power “Really, This is it?” Then the day came when the fear became bigger than the illness and I'd had enough. Out from the cave I came “This is NOT what I was put on this earth for...there HAS to be something to learn, some kind of positive to come from this”. I changed my mindset and opened my heart. The first of many steps I took to reclaim my life!
Today, I am fearless and living my truth. Today, I'm helping others living with limitations, see their truth. I help them to embrace their power and gain control of their health and their life. I had to go through the loss and the struggles to appreciate this gift. I had to get past the fear to see just how amazing life truly is. Life is about connecting with your authentic self, standing in your brilliance, knowing YOU have the power to create the life you want, and above all else, being of service and sharing your gift. Want more for others, than yourself. You can't give away what you don't have.
Today I'm still wearing a name tag...but this time I replaced Fibro with FEARLESS, Sarcoid with SERENITY, Limited with LIMITLESS, and Handicapped with CAPABLE! Today I am a woman who stands in her brilliance. I am a woman inspired. I am a woman empowered. I am a woman who remains teachable. I am a woman of service. I am a woman FULL of gratitude. I am a woman who says “YES”. I wear my new name tags proudly as I go confidently in the direction of my dreams!
With love,
Mare
