That 15% ....

The voices in my head these days are 85% more positive than before. But man oh man, that other 15% is a loud screaming negative voice. I call her Nellie. Her full name is Negative Nellie. She isn't very supportive and lacks real people skills. She loves to dwell and bring up past mistakes. She's really good at crawling into the hard to reach places and setting up camp, if I let her. Just for kicks, she likes to turn on the old “self doubt” switch just see how far she can crawl under my skin.

When Nellie comes to visit she's a real bitch, kinda like Aunt Flo. I swear sometimes they tag team me. I've found that plugging into my favorite authors and motivational speakers really helps me take better control of the situation. Now, I hate to be rude, but life is too sweet to allow these voices in, even for a moment. I'm very grateful for my large Isa-Family for reminding me “there are no mistakes, just lessons”.

I admit I got a little cocky when I reached the 50 lbs mark. I celebrated a little too much and lost focus. I also said yes to Nellie & Flo too many times. I started to make bad choices. In came the shame and guilt followed by self loathing. I allowed the negative in and heard Nellie & Flo scream “you failed, you're not worthy, you can't do this, 50 lbs ?? you should be down 100 lbs by now”. This time I yelled back “ENOUGH , I AM HUMAN AND I AM LEARNING NEW BEHAVOIRS AND NEW COPING SKILLS”. That seemed to shut them up. I just needed to acknowledge, forgive, and release.

This is NOT a diet...it's a way of life. I'm going to participate in life and I'm going to celebrate. I just need to make better choices when it comes to the “how” so I can reach the goals I set for myself. I'm very proud of how far I've come and no matter what, I feel amazing! The is the best health I've been in in years. I celebrate the fact that today I didn't dive into a vat of ice cream after receiving another call from a bill collector. I celebrate the fact that today I can drive by “Fast Food Hill” and not white knuckle it anymore. I celebrate my daily triumphs because after all, triumph is just try with a little umph in it! I'm releasing a life time of bad habits and insecurities, one step at a time.

Today I changed the way I looked at things...and yepper you guessed it...the things I looked at changed!

I am strong and I am loud! Nellie & Flo, I'm in control !

Love and Light,

Mare

Cane Transformed Into Back Scratcher!

If a healthy body is the guest room for the soul, a sick body is the prison. Chronic illness is like living in a personal prison. 8 years ago, I was diagnosed with two debilitating illnesses, which I saw as a life sentence with two horrific medical beasts that caused widespread pain. Stripped down and beaten, I
sat in solitary confinement disabled, bedridden, living in constant agony, and on most days, walked with a cane. These beasts took everything from me. Lifting my arms to wash my hair was a chore. Something as simple as a hug became devastatingly painful. Fearing the pain, I held my breath as someone came towards me with open arms. Soon I withdrew from family functions. My six medical specialists and pharmacists became my only friends. Isolated in my prison cell, I watched my life slip away. 

I was unable to work or take care of my family. I raised my daughters from my bed. I spent days and nights covered in heating pads and ice packs. The medications made it impossible for me to function. My cognitive issues became so bad, I was unable to carry on conversations. Treatments compromised my immune system, keeping me from caring for my family. It was like being behind a prison wall, unable to reach them when they needed me most. 

My beautiful guest room and the life I was meant to live was just beyond my reach. I wasn't ready to back down. The moment we give up and allow illnesses to define us, it's over. I've been planning my prison break for years, but I never had the right tools. Then came Isagenix, the blue print I needed, and I was finally able to break free. 

Refocused, I began working on my new guest room. Demolition started October 10th, 2010 and I began repairing the foundation by taking charge of my body, my mind, and my spirit. During the first few days I released harmful toxins , and unwanted impurities. I gained perspective, self confidence, clarity, and endless amounts of energy. I became empowered and inspired. 

Through cleansing and good nutrition, in less than a month, I was able to walk without my cane. I felt the inflammation leaving my body, the nodules were shrinking, my digestive system was normal again, my pain level decreased, I was functioning clean and clear, and I no longer ran from hugs.

It's been an amazing journey. I'm working full time for the first time in 4 yrs. February 20th, 2011, I was finally well enough to marry the love of my life, after 10 long years. My guest room make- over is coming along. I've lost 50 lbs/49.75 inches so far. Thanks to my wellness system I'll never go back to prison life. My daughters have their Mom back and Phil has the girl he fell in love with again. Now I only use my cane as a back scratcher! Believing is seeing, I've battled my beasts and won...so can you !!  Just ask me how :)


Blessings, 
Mare