Finding The Positive in The Negative

Do you notice your energy draining just by being around Negative Nelly or Debbie Downer ? Having a rude nurse, a hostel waiter. What about the road hogs...now that's a whole lot of negative, right? Now don't get me wrong, I know we all have bad days, it's part of life. People living with Chronic illness always got a free pass in my book. But then I noticed by allowing the negative in, I had no room for positive. You can't have real joy and anger at the same time, try it...it doesn't work.

For me, I have to walk the walk. I needed to take myself out of toxic relationships in order to allow joy back into my life. That was the easy part. Finding out I too was a Debbie Downer, and I could blame others...well that just didn't add up. Sadly, as much as I wanted to fool myself I couldn't. It was then I decided I had to make a real honest effort at change, I wanted to be a better role model for my girls. I felt if not now, then when?

Dad always said “Crap or get off the pot”. As sweet as that statement was, I decided to put a more motivational spin on it. I left my self notes in various places. “Lets do this Mare”,

“You got this Mare”, “No, you are NOT lazy Mare”, and “You are LOVED”. I love the serenity prayer “God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. I just love that ! Some times I add a line, “except _________ I can not change”. It helps.

Having Chronic illness does not mean I need to be chronically crabby. I allow my self time to vent via my journal, or calling a loved one. No matter what I follow it up with “Whats the silver lining, whats the lesson”? This keeps me sane. I won't let the beasts dictate my outlook any more. How I choose to deal with things effects everyone around me. Mom always said “Count to 10”. My serenity prayer is my “counting to 10”.

So, if you're having a downer day, a manic moment, or your beasts are behaving badly, give yourself a break, we all do. We just don't need to bring the rest of the planet down with us. Find your joy..and hang on to it for dear life :) It's all one day at a time....and that works for me.

“ Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice” ~ Wayne Dyer.