Denial Of Denial....

“This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify with in themselves, but is a major barrier to changing hurtful behaviors. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions and behaviors which bolster confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one's personal behavior. This form of denial typically overlaps with all of the other forms of denial, but involves more self-delusion.” ~ wikipedia

I've taken an honest look at my PAST relationship with food and my self-delusion. I had a food addiction. I stopped using food to fuel my body, the way it was intended, and used it to cover painful wounds. I remember the moment I was told my Mom died, I reached for a frozen chocolate cream pie...scarfed it down in seconds..didn't even wait for it to thaw. The insanity is, I allowed this behavior to continue throughout my adult life as well.

I waitressed in my 20's. At the end of my shift, I would scarf down the daily specials before heading home. My routine was to bring a burger home for my husband and a salad for me..this way in his eyes I was being good. INSANE right ? At birthday parties, when they'd pass out pieces of cake, I'd ask for the smallest piece. Sound familiar ? Sure, to everyone else Mare was being so good with just a tiny sliver of cake. , Little did they know I mapped out my route home...directly to Mc Donalds. Insanity! When I took an office job, I volunteered to bring in donuts every Friday. Now was I being generous? Hell no! It was all about the free donut holes, and how many I could shove down my throat before getting to the office.

Today, because of my Isa-Way of life, I have a healthy relationship with real food. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, once I got out of my way. I am able to truly appreciate the gift of wellness, for the first time EVER ! I'm honest now about what and how I eat. I do not go without, I do not starve, I do not DIET! I fuel my body, mind, and soul. I know, with this program, all things are possible. I'm an Isa-Lifer !!

Peace and blessing,

Mare